A Pleading Prayer

O God,

If I had the chance to start all over again, I don't know if i would. I would just mess it all up again.
There is no use regretting the past, for i did learn and grow in some amazing ways I would not want to undo.
But if i ask You to make me new again, I will also ask for an unrestrained passion for You because if i start over now, I'll just fall into the same old ruts.
Lord,
I desire to be striving for Your affection.
For You are my true Husband, loving me with agape love, more than any man could ever love me. So turn my striving to attract a man into an unrestrained striving for You, O God.
Each and every day.
As the world closes in on me, blow it out with Your Redeeming Breath.
Let my prayer truly be,
"Earnestly i seek You. My heart cries out for You."
My prostitution to the world is worse than their own, for they do not know better, nor do they have a Husband.

- December 2007, amh