Tuesday, December 23, 2008
I just dropped off a dear friend at the airport. Prior, we stopped at a new coffee shop, Mead's Corner, and ate and talked. It has been awhile since we have fellowshipped together, at least to the point of getting down to the nitty gritty. I am so wrapped up in my own problems. One talk with somebody about something deeper than the surface of their life has the innate ability to stop me in my tracks. Not in a, like, "i think I have problems!" sort of way, but almost more of a recognization that i am not the only human out there. hurting. bleeding. or bloated with self-pity. My natural inclination is to stay at home. What i mean is, if given the offer to either meet up with someone to fellowship, or stay at home and read/make jewelry, i would choose to stay at home. ppl sap the energy from me. more specifically, i cause my energy to be sapped b/c of the insane amount of effort i put into pleasing others. it's nobody's fault but my own. it's me looking into a mirror planted right in front of my face and pretending that i am looking thru a glass pane window, watching the world outside of my own little sphere. God knows it's a mirror, though. So my striving to be the best whatever to whomever takes a lot of energy, is what i'm saying. and i absolutely hate it. because everytime i do look outside of myself and God actually opens my eyes to something further beyond my own territory, blessings come raining down. i am not talking physical blessings. i'm talking those blessings that cannot be properly explained with human intellect. it's too magnificent. so...why do i shy from it? why am i dreading spending time with ppl, when i know it's always for the best in the end? i don't really know. so i was talking to this friend at the coffee shop about the physical vs. the mental. After going through some extensive mental/emotional "rehab", I have seen clearly how interconnected these three are: the mental, the emotional, and the physical. There is hardly a time when i have not been physically ill. i don't know if i'll ever attain that level of health that i strive for. that is "normal". but i was adamant with my friend: the physical is a direct result of the mental. I mean, our brains are physical specimen, right? that may not be the medical answer, but oh how i believe it and have seen it in my own life. so anyways, (i'm getting to my point, i promise:) as we were talking, there came a point where we knew we couldn't just state the problems we were having without coming up with steps towards a solution. It's always that, ok...i have sorted out my struggle, it has a name now, i have confessed it, and i have talked it out. NOW, where is a book with a good quote that i can use to keep me going in the realms of temptation?
So as me and my friend came to that point in the conversation, i remembered my devo last night. An excerpt from "Come Away, My Beloved" poignantly described the answer to, well, ANY question with one word: PRAISE.
Praise Him. that's all we are to do. Sing His Praise. Dance His Praise. Seek to Serve Him. is that so hard? YES. it sadly is. but to reach a conclusion, God has taught me thru the events of this past day that: A. He holds the power over the physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual realms. and B. all i need to do is PRAISE HIM!!